Bullying is not ok- talk to your kids

It was winter of my sophomore year, and the MCHS Dance Team had just taken the gym floor for our halftime performance. I anxiously took my place and struck my pose. The gym went silent in anticipation of the music that was coming on, and then it happened. A chorus of "Suck it in, Sanford!" rang out through the silence, and I, along with the rest of the gymnasium, had heard it. Before I even had time to react, the music began to play and I had no choice but to just do the routine. I was so embarrassed that I couldn't stay focused at all. My face got hot and red and I struggled to fight back tears as I went through the motions I had once been so excited to perform. I consciously tried to hide my face and body from the crowd, and ended up making a few errors in the performance because I was so thrown off. The song ended, and I couldn't get off the court fast enough. I changed into street clothes, ran to my car, drove across the street to the football field parking lot, and burst into tears alone in my Eclipse.
At some point, we have all had our own encounters with a bully, or a "pack" of bullies. Some of us experienced it in elementary school, where it seemed to be less harmful. Someone pulled your hair or kicked you under the table, but you could usually tell a teacher and the problem got solved. For others, it happened in middle school when we got left out or taunted because we weren't part of a "cool" group. For me, it happened in high school. My entire sophomore year, I was traumatized by a group of senior girls who didn't like me because they didn't want me dating a member of their clique. The humiliation went beyond the public jab at my figure- one girl wrote a blog full of horrible and just flat out mean things about me and posted it via social site that everyone used. Another girl would target me with her status updates on MSN Messenger and MySpace. I got hateful phone calls at least on a monthly basis. You would think the problem would have gone away after the group graduated, but one of the girls attended Kennesaw State and was unfortunately close enough to home to keep tormenting me on her agenda throughout my junior year, as well. It finally took filing a police report to get her to back off.
School bullying surveys show that 77% of all students are bullied mentally, physically, or verbally. Cyber bullying, which takes place via blogs, cell phones, instant-messaging, and the like, is also rapidly approaching high numbers. 9 out of 10 teens have experienced harassment either at school or online.
Kids are cruel. Bullying is a real problem, and it isn't getting any better. My best friend, who witnessed firsthand what I went through in high school, is now a teacher. Her students are at the age where teasing and taunting are beginning to happen more often. A few weeks ago, a girl in her class came in crying and sat down at the desk covering her head to block the other students out. Her classmates were teasing the girl and calling her "weird". Another student has been under a psychiatric evaluation after he was viciously and violently attacked by another boy on the school bus. My friend made a speech in every class she had that day: "Bullying is NOT okay, and I better not hear of it happening again."
I have a daughter of my own now. She's almost three, drop dead gorgeous, and has the biggest and most sensitive heart you can imagine- not a good combination for a high school girl. The thought of her going through anything like I did at 16 makes my blood boil. I know that if someone were to ever embarrass HER during one of her events, or make her cry during class, I would be knocking on other mamas' doors until the problem was settled. As a teenager, I was mortified when my mom tried to intervene and talk to the principal about what those girls were doing to me. Now, only a few years later, I wish I had let her handle it.
Talk to your kids. Find out what's going on at school. If there is a problem, address it. If you have to, talk to a teacher or an administrator. If you find out that your own child is involved in bullying other kids, please, take action. Parental involvement can have a huge impact on getting to the bottom of this problem and can help eliminate unnecessary hurt. Going through adolescence is hard enough without having to endure such cruelty at the hand of a peer or group of peers.